Audition week...

It's audition week for the Wild Party.

This time around, I think we've got it quite easy, with only two days of auditions, and a day of call backs.

Auditions are a funny old thing....personally, I hate them.

I feel for the poor bastards who put themselves through this fucking awful process...waiting in the small room among the 30 other people who've turned up wanting their part. Having to stand around while you listen to people doing their warm-up exercises, wondering if they've picked a better number than you, if they're 'in the loop' with the production team etc, if their vocal coach has given them a silver-bullet of advice that's bound to secure this spot.

I understand how much it takes to walk through that room and be greeted by the table of people waiting to see you nervously stumble your way through a song, and can but imagine how awful it must be to see us either scribble a note down on a piece of paper, or have a quick whispered conversation.

What are they thinking? What are they saying? Do they like me? Did I pick the wrong song? Did I wear the wrong clothes? Do they remember me from my awful audition three months ago when I was hungover / sick / underprepared / forgot my words / hit that wrong note / made that bad joke...etc. should I....did I.....are they.....will I.....WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON????


So -- to all those out there thinking about auditioning, my heart goes out to you.

For anyone who's interested, here's a couple of my tips for auditionees.

1. NEVER sing any of these songs (unless it's part of a callback for that role)

• I don't know how to love him
• Everything's alright
• I dreamed a dream
• Castle on a cloud
• On my own

2. Know your words. There's no excuse to turn up to an audition without knowing your words.

3. It IS okay to bring your own pianist. In fact, if you're thinking about singing something by Sondheim or Bernstein, or La Chusia, or Jason Robert Brown, it's almost a neccessity. (Maybe not for JRB, since his stuff is so thrashed these days)

4. When it says in the audition notice that acapella & backing tracks are not allowed, it's not a kind suggestion....it's a commandment. Break that, and you just made it a truckload more difficult to get a part!

5. Pick something suitable. Don't go for Les Mis when you're auditioning for RENT, and don't go for your best Marilyn Manson (or even Marilyn Munroe) impression when you're trying out for Sound of Music.

6. Limit your selection....smartly. Don't turn up and have the piantist play a 16 bar intro while you 'focus' yourself. Don't sing 3 verses of the same shit, when there's a killer bridge or refrain coming up...you probably won't make it! Make sure you account for the fact that...

7. You probably will be cut off part-way through your song. It's not because we don't like you, or because you sang the wrong word, or hit a bum note....but it's because we only get 5 minutes per auditionee...and, in order to make sure you were'nt sitting too long out in the waiting room, we had to cut the last guy off too.

8. Personality counts. It doesn't matter if you can hit a top 'B' and hold it forever, or if you toured as Topol's understudy. If we think that you're a dickhead in your audition, you won't get cast. There's no way that we wanna spend the next 3 months fighting with your precious ego during rehearsals. We do this because we love it...and if you give the impression you're someone who's gonna be a pain in the arse to work with...don't wanna know you. I have often cast people who were less able than someone else in auditions, because I couldn't bare the thought of working with a pratt.

9. BE NICE TO THE PIANIST. They're sightreading.....and that's a hard gig. Don't talk down to them when you give them the music. Don't roll your eyes at us if they made a mistake (we already know, and we've already forgiven them for it....catch up). It's okay to tell them how you wanna do the number in terms of tempo, cuts, etc. But if you give expect them to do a new arrangement while they're sightreading, then you're shit out of luck. If you wanna be a priss about how they play your number, then see point #3. The way you behave with the pianist tells me as an MD a lot about how you're gonna be to work with in music rehearsals.

That's about it. Would've been nice to have 10, but I'm not that smart.

See you at auditions

Marty