As an aside...

My good friend Shaun recently shared this piece of golden knowledge regarding Paper - Sciscor - Rock.

I am a frequent psr-ee, using it as my primary tool when making signifigant life decisions, or to settle who has to get out of bed to turn off the TV at night.

I understand that scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Paper is supposed to magically "wrap around" rock, rendering it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't
paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?

I'll tell you why-- BECAUSE PAPER CAN'T BEAT ANYBODY! A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds.

When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought that paper would protect you"

Pure gold.